This is a blog that no one will read. I'll post it in anyway.

I'm wondering when I will learn:
-to be independent
-to take care of myself
-to not take things so seriously
-to not need a boy
-to forgive more readily
-to never depend on anyone else
-to do things alone
-to not worry about everything
-to stop being bitter

I've got to stop relying on people. I've got to stop being needy, and to start doing things for myself and by myself. I've got to stop taking things so seriously, because, obviously, no one else does and when I do, I look like I've got a stick in my rear. Did I mention I need to realize I don't need a boy? Boys do nothing but cause drama in my life. They always find a way to ruin my day, but then again, I let them. I don't forgive easily, and it only ends up hurting me. None of the people I hold grudges against even know my feelings of disdain for them exist, and if they did, they wouldn't care. So why do I? I need to let go. Also, if I continue to depend on others, I will just continue to constantly be let down. The only way to get something done is to do it myself. I need to learn that it's okay to do things alone, and I don't need someone else with me to do things like go to the gym or go to the dining hall. It's okay to go alone, and I need to remind myself that. Worrying is all I do, and all I really know how to do besides be bitter and not be alone, and this needs to come to an end. If I truly have faith in Christ, then worrying is unnecessary. I have to also remind myself of this fact, the fact that God will never give me more than I can handle and not to worry about things in this life, because really, this life doesn't matter. It's so small compared to the afterlife. Why sweat the small stuff? Finally, I need to learn to stop being bitter and holding grudges, because it does nothing but create a pit in my stomach that grows and grows with each passing day. I need to demolish this pit and move on. There are so many worse things that could be happening to me. A friend said to me, upon learning that our major is more than likely going to be cut from our university due to a lack of funding: "At least we're not starving". It's so true, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that he was and is absolutely right. I'm not starving. The possibility of Political Science being cut from FSU is not going to affect me, because I'm already in the major, in fact, I only need 3 more classes and I'm done with the major. The only way it will affect me, is that quite a few classes are going to be cut, thus my selection of classes is going to get noticeably narrower. But I only need 3. If I get 3 that kind of suck, then so be it. It's only a semester that I'll be taking them, anyway. It could be worse.